Breathe

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So I had one of the multiple disappointments I’ve been having for years now. At first I felt numb, then alone, had to call a close friend to cry so I could release the pressure stuck in my chest, I felt like suffocating 😂#Lol

I obviously had a good cry, one of those relieving tears, good thing he allowed me to have my full. I 
discovered how therapeutic tears are. Well, as always I thank God for the disappointments, they 
aren’t funny one bit, but all I can think of now is how blessed I am. I know this sounds cliché because I’m actually typing this with so much tears rolling down my chubby cheeks. But what can I do!. Who can I blame, definitely not me because I put in so much effort into this. I literally gave it my best shot. And I can’t blame God, He’s God obviously, even though He said He would never leave me nor forsake me but the truth is I feel so disappointed but not abandoned. 

This is crazy, like I feel Him comforting me with that subtle peace in my heart but I’m screaming in my head. Why???? Like You know I really prayed and worked hard for this. I really wanted it and somehow I felt this was that big break I’ve been waiting for all my life. So why are you giving me peace, I want to scream and feel pain but there isn’t any to feel. I don’t know why or how I’m able to feel confident without even knowing what road to take next, but I’m really tired; physically, mentally and even emotionally. 
I feel lost and alone once more but I'm deeply grateful. And I’m thankful for the support system I am blessed with; my family and friends.

Life might not go the way we want it to.But God is always faithful and He makes all crooked path straight🤍🤍🤍


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