Relax

This article was originally written in mid-May 2022, but it wasn't posted because I've been a little off-kilter.

 

 

For me, the journey has been like riding a roller coaster. Fair enough, this year has been great, and I still have my hopes set on more fantastic things. Recently, I've been a little more deliberate about the bible verses I study; I simply google what I feel like studying and, most of the time, I receive fantastic articles that I use to "hold body" for that day.

The day before yesterday, it was the Joseph narrative; I already knew how it turned out, but I still needed some inspiration to get through the day. Reading those site pages made me feel as though I were being mirrored — you know, that sense of hoping your life would go in a certain path, just like Joseph felt after having that dream of ruling over his brothers. According to what I've read, Joseph appears to be in a good place; after all, being the beloved child of a successful man must be great.

Well, instead of things turning out the way he wants them to, they fairly quickly started to go south. To be completely honest, since graduating from college, my life hasn't taken the course I had anticipated it would, but one thing has been constant - progress! I may not have been sold into slavery or put in jail for refusing to be seduced by my boss's husband. Perhaps not of the extremely evident or glamorous variety, but rather cerebral maturity and all those subtle qualities in between. We all know how the story ends once we discover who the author is, so we continue to move on while grinning.

 

I've been deliberate about the information I take in. Yesterday, I also read an article on recognizing who we are and whom we are. I skimmed through the numerous scriptures that were attached to the article about God reminding us of who we are because I was honestly not in the right frame of mind. However, what stood out for me was further down the page, where he discussed tactics that lead to doubt. I was about to skip that section as well, but I decided against it.

 

We find our identity in everything, including our career, job title, how much money we make, etc., which causes us to question what our genuine identity is. Distractions were the first point. This jumped out to me because I've been so focused on pursuing everything—the glamorous career, scholarships, etc.—that I've lost myself in the process, feeling less than I should, disregarding every other beautiful facet of my life, and being fixated on what I think my ideal life should be like. Even though I'm still working on this identity problem, I can find peace in knowing who I am in Christ. The article also discussed perplexity, criticism, and busyness. Another issue that stuck out was criticism, which is the sensation of not living up to society's standards and of becoming so hard on yourself that you start to shrink.

 

Earlier today, I read about the "pace of grace." I had written a piece about it, but it was worthwhile to read it from the viewpoint of another person. "Whoever believes will not be hasty," says Isaiah 28:16. According to biblical scholar A.R. Fausset, Isaiah 28:16 states that "he who depends on Him shall not have the shame of failure, nor should he flee in sudden terror." When I initially read this, I questioned whether or not I really believed that God would fulfill His promises and grant my prayers. Even though I should have been getting ready for work, I lingered there for a little while longer, searching my heart for an honest response, and I came up with the statement, "I know He will come through but He doesn't recognize the urgency!" Sincerity be damned, that's what I think, but why the rush? In the same spot, I pictured my unborn children pleading for chocolate and made the decision to give them fruits or vegetables instead. Does that mean I'm a horrible mother? Forgoing what my children want in favor of what they actually need?

 

I also claim that my children will be "tech gurus," that I will begin training them at a young age, hire at least four different language tutors, and that they will learn to play at least one instrument, travel the world, interact with different cultures directly, and do all those amazing things. Every time I enter that state, God speaks to my heart, saying, "All these are plans you have made out of profound love for your future children, whom I have not yet given, yet you have all their lives planned." Is it possible that they won't perceive it that way if all they want is enough free time to play and consume sweet foods? So why should I grumble when He is forming me into the person I was created to be? The Bible mentions pruning: "He prunes every branch that yields fruit, that it may yield more fruit" (John 15:2).

Grace's pace is anchored in Christ and nourished by the tranquility He offers. the tranquility that lets Him dictate the pace. It is His grace that brings about the tranquility. the tranquility that frees what is not intended for us.

 

Today, simply take a break and relax