Tide (Half time)

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    • Some might call it a quarter-life crisis but the truth is this year has not been as rosy as I envisaged, I’ve had so many disappointments. I haven’t actually posted anything this year, not that I haven’t been typing but because I felt I’d be lying to myself pretending all is well and I have my shit together but the truth is I’m exploding inside. Most times I just say “fuck it, I’m done” but I see myself pushing, but It still feels like I’m not doing enough, that there should be something else (big) I should be doing. Well, today is the last day of the first half of the year (30th June), I woke up trying not to feel pity for myself (because it seems like a routine these days), decided to evaluate the last few months of my life (listed the things I am grateful for and things that didn’t seem to make so much sense to me), well I can gladly say things aren’t as bad as my head make it seem.

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    • You know I always say to myself, “you’re kind, always willing to help out and you work so hard and live a good life” things are meant to work out smoothly but I guess that’s not how things work. God loves everyone equally and He lets everyone go through unique experiences that suit their life journeys. You cannot escape it, you might not see the changes in you yet but I’m certain if you look hard enough you’ll realize that your character or attitude is being molded or modified. God cares about our attitude as much as He cares about the destination ( Lol, there’s no destination just phases of life) and it’s our developed character that helps us during each phase of our lives. 

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    • I can’t say I’ve mastered the right attitude for this particular phase because I am honestly still lost but I’m trying (even though am tired), I’ll keep refreshing that mail every hour with hope for a breakthrough because I know for certain that everything will work out in the end and if it doesn’t, then it’s still not the end of this phase of my life.

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    • Most times I’m torn between taking it a step at a time (what is meant for you will never leave you), and other times, I stay up working; searching for opportunities because if I don't keep pushing nonstop (you might miss your gig). But I guess that’s where trusting God comes into play, so I’ll just take life a step at a time.

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    • My sister once told me that I should keep building castles in the air, that one day they might just materialize. Of what benefit is it to neither have a physical nor imaginary castle, that I should at least pick a struggle. Well, I guess I’ll keep the dreams and hope alive. 

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    • Yours truly,

    • Kosisochi

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    • (Psalm 43:4_ Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God)

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Comments

  1. UnknownJuly 8, 2020 at 5:41 AM

    Blissful...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dozie OJuly 8, 2020 at 5:51 AM

    Beautiful.
    Truly, when there's life, there's always hope.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AyomideJuly 8, 2020 at 5:53 AM

    Soul, why so disturbed?

    ReplyDelete
  4. ZecoJuly 8, 2020 at 7:21 AM

    There may be no light at the end of the tunnel, but there's certainly enough air, enough oxygen for you to keep going. And you must keep going, because that is your duty.

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownJuly 8, 2020 at 8:46 AM

    Beautiful piece of writing.

    ReplyDelete
  6. NinaJuly 8, 2020 at 6:45 PM

    👏👏👏beautiful as always

    ReplyDelete
  7. Miracle NgokanmaJuly 9, 2020 at 1:26 AM

    Stay strong, sis. ☺

    ReplyDelete
  8. T.CAugust 28, 2020 at 6:47 AM

    Incredible write up. I agree with your sister. No one can achieve more than they envisage in their minds so keep building the castles in the air. One day everything would click🙏

    ReplyDelete

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