"LOVE"

Before we start I want to point this out: I am not so good with captions; so don’t be shocked that my caption has nothing to do with the writeup below.

1 Corinthians 9:19-23
Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I become like one under the law (though myself am not under the law), So as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessing...

So Paul was basically saying that he accepts people just the way they are. You cannot change people or correct their wrongs by writing a list of what they do wrong, you can only love them and that’s the trick (how do you expect a person to vent if they sense you’re judgemental)

ILLUSTRATION:
If someone is going through a rough patch in his/her life. “People generally are sensitive”; you don’t want to go around telling them how things are going smoothly with you.
You listen and respond with total compassion. Find the courage to tap into your own struggles with worthiness so that you could genuinely connect to what they’re experiencing. Say wonderfully honest and empathetic things like, “oh, man. That’s so hard. I’ve done that dance. I hate the feeling!” that might not be what they would need to hear but show compassion. “Speak some jazz into people’s lives when they miss a couple of notes”

God makes people, and people make issues, but people aren’t issues. They’re not projects either. People are people.

The next time someone near you messes up, pull them aside in private. Don’t give them a pile of instructions like its sheet music. Just give them a hug. You’ll be making grace and love and acceptance finger memory to them. (There is a quiet confidence in knowing we all hit a couple of wrong notes here and there) so don’t be a self righteous douchebag.

If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm. We want solid connection in situation like this – something akin to a sturdy tree firmly planted in the ground. So we should try modifying ourselves to be more compassionate and avoid being friends like these:

1. The friend who hears the story and actually feels shame for him/her.  Gasping and confirms how horrified (s)he should be. Then, there is awkward silence. Then (s)he’ll have to make you feel better.

2. The friend who response with sympathy (I feel so sorry for you) rather than empathy (I get it, I feel with you, I’ve been there). If you want to see a shame cyclone turn deadly, throw one of these at it: “oh, you poor thing.” Or, the incredibly passive-aggressive southern version of sympathy: “Bless your heart”

3. The friend who needs him/her to be the pillar of worthiness and authenticity. You can’t help because you’re too disappointed in him/her imperfections. (S)he has let you down.

4. The friend who is so uncomfortable with vulnerability that you scold him/her: “How did you let this happen?” Or you look for someone to blame.
5. The friend who is all about making it better and, out of your own discomfort, refuses to acknowledge that (s)he can actually be crazy and make terrible choices: “You’re exaggerating. It wasn’t that bad. You rock. You’re perfect. Everyone loves you.”

6. The friend who confuses “connection” with the opportunity to one-up you: “That’s nothing. Listen to what happened to me one time!”.

Of course, we’re capable of being “these friends” – especially if someone tells us a story that gets right up in our own shame grill. We’re human, imperfect, and vulnerable. It’s hard to practice compassion when we’re struggling with our authenticity or when our own worthiness is off balance.

Adapt and Adjust to other people just for the sake of keeping harmony, unity and that's the way to love people. “Love is Acceptance and Not Rejection.”

Let people be themselves, let’s stop trying to change them, but love them as they’re and not the way we wish they would be.

The only way we are going to get along with people is to give each individual the right to be who they are; which is different from you.

If we can take a moment to think of all the things that are in the junk yard; there lies people’s dream (cars, gargets etc) that probably broke marriages, families, relationships now ruined. There’s an old proverb in my native dialect that goes “Ihe oma anayi agwuagwu” meaning Good things doesn’t finish.

In Matthew 6:9 – Do not store up for yourself treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.

This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t desire good things. We ought to want good things; we should stay hopeful (Faith is confident hope) the bible says without faith it’s impossible to please God. The enemy wants to steal our hope and joy because it’s connected to our faith.

But what I am saying is to set out priorities right. We shouldn’t hurt people because of money but let money work for you and not the other way round. Let’s not spend our lives chasing one mirage or the other hoping it will quench our taste.

We’re all different, no two people are alike. Each person’s personality is an aggregate of God’s given temperament and their experiences in life especially at the early years of our lives.

Let’s not nitpick on everything that is wrong with someone. It is not our job to do that. We can just pray for them but if we “must” we can do it in a subtle way; well coated with compliments. What about the thing they do right??? Be generous with compliments; it only takes a moment to make someone feel better.

2 Timothy 2:23-26
Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid argument because you know they produce quarrel. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him, he must “gently instruct”, in hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the faith, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil who has taken them captive to do his will.

We tend to prove an insignificant superiority by belittling people we feel we’re more knowledgeable than. Even God in Genesis 18:16-33, didn’t belittle Abram when Abram kept asking Him (what we will call annoying questions) God gently answered his questions to the very least. Even in Luke 7:18-23; when John the Baptist asked Jesus if He was the one or should they expect someone else? He was polite. We should gently teach instead of belittling.

When we are angry, we tend to voice out really hurtful things to people, that might take time to heal from; the bible says in proverb 18:21 that the tongue has power of life and death, so be careful of what you say. Most times it’s better to be silent; Isaiah 53:7, Jesus was oppressed and afflicted, yet He did not open his mouth, He was led like a lamb to be slaughtered, and a sheep before her shearer is silent, so He did not open His mouth.

We should be good to people without expectations. People need love.

Talk more about what God is doing than what you’re doing for someone; you shouldn’t be keeping scores (the next time you’re tempted to boast, just say under your breath, it’s not about me but about Jesus Christ) Our lives will never be about Jesus if we keep making everything about ourselves for instance, I’m usually serving people right until I tell everyone about how I’m serving everyone; when I do, I make it about me.

People who keep scores of the good they do are insecure about how much God loves them, so they mistakenly try to quantify how much they love Him back by offering Him success or accomplishments or status or titles. Here’s the problem: they’re all meaningless to God; He wants our heart, not our help. We’re not meant to do nice things in order to trade them someday for an eraser full of grace. Grace is given to us freely; it isn’t something we trade good conduct for. We should shun all the attention because it isn’t necessary; we’ve got to realize that BRIGHT LIGHTS DON’T NEED SPOTLIGHTS. Instead, we should see every act of selfless love as a declaration of our faith. We’ve got to see love as its own reward simply because it pleases God. And we should not judge people when they keep scores because we have to realize that they are on their own adventure with God.

For example; if you keep tracks on how many times you said or did something nice for your spouse, it wouldn’t be evidence of a terrific marriage. It would be evidence of a whacked relationship.

That’s this popular quote by Maya Angelou “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, But people will never forget how you make them feel”

There’s no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friend; John 15:13, Jesus did that while God in His estimation felt that we all are worth the life of His Son, we are here   relating with one another not believing that other people is worth our time which is worth far less than the life of Christ.

After the Pentecost there was no needy person among them; for from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need. Acts 4:34-35

Being filled with the Holy Spirit is recognising value so much in others, that you’re willing to make sacrifices to improve the quality of their lives. That is meeting the practical needs of others.

MEEKNESS ISN’T WEAKNESS; IT IS STRENGTH UNDER CONTROL;
Be mindful to be a blessing to people

SIDE NOTE: Offense is satan’s bait, he baits people; he tries to get them offended, so they get bitter and resentful until it’s a full blown case of unforgiveness.  Then the love cannot flow. And when there’s no love, there’s no power and your faith cannot work without love. Galatians 8

Even if someone doesn't see your worth, you've got to understand it's just one opinion in a sea of thousands

##############################
I highly recommend these two books:
Everybody always by Bob Goff
And
The gift of imperfection by Brene Brown.
They're really amazing books.
Thank me later.

Oh Yea!  I fell inlove with this Kirk Franklin's new song  " Love Theory"